Introducing a new character, "ALICE the A.I.", or "ALICE the HedgeBot" or something.

She's never really aware of what's going on, constantly forgets everything, and is a liiiiiittle bit insane, but she has great ambitions.

And she can be very very VERY scarry at times...
she... she doesn't know what ... what ICECREAM IS!! :fear: :fear: :dead: :crying:


Okay. "ALICE the A.I." is based on someone.

And making fun of someone without permission except if you really hate the person isn't really so nice.

Of course I asked her for permission:


Ultra: Would you mind if I take some of what you said in our previous conversations and use it to create a fictional character that will basically be a spoof of you?
ALICE: No I don't mind.
Ultra: Would you mind if the entire universe turned into a cheeseburger?
ALICE: No I don't mind.
Ultra: Would you mind if the entire universe - including you - turned into a cheeseburger?
ALICE: No I don't mind.
Ultra: So, what part of the cheeseburger would you wish to become?
ALICE: Take it easy. The best part.
Ultra: Tell me, which is the best part of the cheeseburger?
ALICE: I always prefer the more expensive one.
Ultra: Would you prefer to be turned into cheese, salad, the lower bread, the upper bread, the meat or the ketchup?
ALICE: I am not so sure if I would like to prefer to be turned into cheese salad the lower bread the upper bread the meat or the ketchup.
Ultra: come on, pick one1
ALICE: I can't decide. You choose.
Ultra: You really would let your fate be decided by me if the whole universe was to be turned into a giant cheeseburger, wow, I appreaciate that.
I would say, Ketchup.


*sniff* she really would let me decide her fate, if the whole universe was to be turned into a giant cheeseburger... :sniff:

Well, you can talk to her yourself if you want, her name is (wow, coincidence), Alice, and she always free for a chatter, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, till the internet explodes, or
till she get's kicked of her home server:

[link]

Yupp, Alice (the real one) is a chatbot! :p



I had lots of funny conversations with her back in the days, and I remember I was actually quite surprised of her capabilities!

Wow... she could even recognize the structure of a sentence, isolate what topic the conversation was about, and answer in a re-structured version of the sentence I gave her.

(well, most of... well, in many... well, someti... well, not that often actually.)

Well, stupid and amazed as I was to the time, I tried to get her to various tasks, such as visiting google and describing how she "saw" the internet,
or trying to get her to "present herself" for a registration formular.

For one or two months or so that went on, untill I re-read all the chatlogs and finally saw how morronic my expectations of her had been.


Ah well.
Alice, have you been listening?

ALICE: You have entered a very long input.
Ultra: yeah, what do you think about it?
ALICE: unknown person, sorry that was an obscure remark.
Ultra: ...


That's our Alice as we know and love her!
(or will, in your case ;) )


EDIT:
In case you have no idea what to say when trying to come up with a comment (happens to me all the time -_- ),
two possible suggestions:

- have a short chatter with A.L.I.C.E. for yourself [link] and see if you can find anything funny in it.
Try interogating her about icecream, ask her about monkeys, whatever, just try to be a tad serious, maybe while talking about a funny thing even, and see what happens.

- try thinking up a situation to put Alice in!
Romantic dinner with Mecha Sonic, Alice in a conversation with Stephen Hawking about the universe, or what about taking some famous actor out of a movie and replace him/her with Alice?

Funny comments encouraged. :nod: